Common Openness Fears and Myths (and What the Research Says) of Open Adoption

Thought I would post some of the common myths and fears of open adoption since to some it is not well known by all. This is an excerpt from: www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f_openadopt.pdf#page=4&view=Benefits of Open Adoption

Doug and I chose open adoption because we want to have a relationship with our child's birthfamily. We want to be able to answer questions and to know hi/her bio-mom/dad. We are excited for the ability to extend our family not only to our future child, but to the people whom gave us such a great gift. Thanks all for following us!

Common Openness Fears and Myths (and What the Research Says) of Open Adoption

Myth: Adopted children will become confused about who their “real parents” are and suffer identify issues.

Reality: Adopted children and youth are not confused about who their parents are. They understand the different roles adoptive and birth parents play in their lives. They recognize who gave them life
and who cares for them on a daily basis. Open relationships and conversations about adoption often help strengthen the adopted youth’s sense of identity.

Myth: Birth parents will try to “reclaim” their children.

Reality: There is no evidence that birth mothers try to take back their children in an open adoption. In some studies, ongoing contact with birth parents has led to increased comfort levels and helped adoptive parents ease such fears. (It is important to remember that birth parents have terminated parental rights and can’t decide after several years to take back their children.)


Myth: Birth parents will interfere in the adoptive families’ lives, and parents will be confused about their rights and responsibilities.


Reality: Participants in open adoption are generally not confused about their parenting rights and responsibilities. In fact, some adoptive parents in open relationships report feeling a greater sense of entitlement to parent their adopted child.

Myth: Birth mothers in open adoption will have more problems with feelings of grief and loss.

Reality: Many birth mothers are able to deal with their grief, loss, and sadness better in open adoption than in closed adoption. Making an open adoption work requires commitment to ongoing relationships,
despite their ups and downs. While adoptive family and birth family relationships may seem awkward at first, over time the involved individuals typically become more comfortable. Some people compare the experience to working out other extended family relationships, such as relationships with new in-laws or with a child’s stepfamily following a divorce and remarriage. While some adoptive and birth families arrange openness informally, others will develop more formal agreements. When challenges arise, some families use mediation or other support for help.